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Thread: Dumb tourists

  1. #1
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    Default Dumb tourists

    "the beach was too sandy"... and other tourist complaints

    After the winter holidays, Thomas Cook and the Association of British Travel Agents (ABTA) created a list of ridiculous complaints that were received by travel agents from their clients. These are some of the actual complaints received:

    -- One woman claimed that she had been restricted to her room by the hotel staff. It was learned that she had mistaken the "Do Not Disturb" sign (hanging on the inside of the door) as a warning to stay in the room.

    --"The beach was too sandy."

    -- One guest complained that the soup served at an Australian hotel was too thick. It was learned that he had inadvertently been sipping on the gravy.

    --"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

    --"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."

    --"My fianc and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

    --"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

    --"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

    --"It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

    --"I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."

    --"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

    --"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."

    --"On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."

    --"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming |suits| and towels."
    http://www.mypointless.com/2009/03/b...r-tourist.html

    In addition to the above:

    "We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five euros (3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."

    "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

    "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."

    "There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."

    "We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/pi...daymakers.html
    Last edited by Rising Sun*; 04-12-2009 at 07:22 AM.
    ..
    A rational army would run away.
    Montesquieu

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Dumb tourists

    ...and I though this would be a German problem only!
    "I just ran out of ammo. I will ram this one. Good bye, we'll meet in Valhalla." - Major Heinrich Ehrler, April 4, 1945

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Dumb tourists

    Quote Originally Posted by flamethrowerguy View Post
    ...and I though this would be a German problem only!
    Well, there was a time when the Poms used to complain about Germans doing athletic things at Spanish resorts , but that was before the Poms were confronted with bigger problems.

    A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/pi...daymakers.html

    How do you think his new wife felt?
    ..
    A rational army would run away.
    Montesquieu

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Dumb tourists

    About the recent -let's say- problematic touristic situation In Europe, officially called "Incompatible commingling of the target audience" by the tourism industry. Not entirely "pc" but still worth a laugh (read in a German major magazine):

    "During holidays the English dislike the Germans. The French dislike the English and the Germans. The Belgians partially dislike the French, partially the Dutch. The Dutch dislike everyone, including themselves. No one dislikes the Italians - as long as they brawl in a seperate remote corner of the hotel compound. No one likes or dislikes Scandinavians. All of the named parties have something against Russians."
    "I just ran out of ammo. I will ram this one. Good bye, we'll meet in Valhalla." - Major Heinrich Ehrler, April 4, 1945

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Dumb tourists

    Quote Originally Posted by flamethrowerguy View Post
    "During holidays the English dislike the Germans. The French dislike the English and the Germans. The Belgians partially dislike the French, partially the Dutch. The Dutch dislike everyone, including themselves. No one dislikes the Italians - as long as they brawl in a seperate remote corner of the hotel compound. No one likes or dislikes Scandinavians. All of the named parties have something against Russians."
    I am surprised to find that Gallic contempt is limited to the English and Germans. I thought it was applied to the rest of the world with equal contempt for anything not French.
    ..
    A rational army would run away.
    Montesquieu

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Dumb tourists

    Quote Originally Posted by Rising Sun* View Post
    I am surprised to find that Gallic contempt is limited to the English and Germans. I thought it was applied to the rest of the world with equal contempt for anything not French.
    They can be quite testy, even here in the States, I heard one French person complaining about of lack of French speaking Americans, so I spoke to them in German. that got me a look of damnation, and the question, why do you think I would speak German? I replied,, "OH! my mistake, thats right, America saved you from having to speak German awhile back, now quite whining. The pic might seem redundant, but explains alot.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Last edited by tankgeezer; 04-12-2009 at 10:18 AM.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Dumb tourists

    Quote Originally Posted by tankgeezer View Post
    They can be quite testy, even here in the States, I heard one French person complaining about of lack of French speaking Americans, so I spoke to them in German. that got me a look of damnation, and the question, why do you think I would speak German? I replied,, "OH! my mistake, thats right, America saved you from having to speak German awhile back, now quite whining.
    Ah, but you should have spoken English to attract the full Gallic wrath.

    As these posters delightfully failed to do when responding in English to a French post about preserving French from English assaults. http://languagezone.cf.ac.uk/forums/viewtopic.php?t=123
    ..
    A rational army would run away.
    Montesquieu

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Dumb tourists

    Quote Originally Posted by Rising Sun* View Post
    Ah, but you should have spoken English to attract the full Gallic wrath.

    As these posters delightfully failed to do when responding in English to a French post about preserving French from English assaults. http://languagezone.cf.ac.uk/forums/viewtopic.php?t=123
    I used my limited German only in the opener, after it was my clear mid-western accented English I can only hope it put a knot in their knickers.. Oh, I added something to my previous post,, should explain things,,,,,
    Last edited by tankgeezer; 04-12-2009 at 10:37 AM.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Dumb tourists

    Quote Originally Posted by tankgeezer View Post
    I used my limited German only in the opener, after it was my clear mid-western accented English I can only hope it put a knot in their knickers.. Oh, I added something to my previous post,, should explain things,,,,,
    Well, if you can't open something in German (like, say, Poland ), you're not trying.
    ..
    A rational army would run away.
    Montesquieu

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Dumb tourists

    HA-HAAAA, that were a good'un!!

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Dumb tourists

    Quote Originally Posted by tankgeezer View Post
    HA-HAAAA, that were a good'un!!
    Vell, und I haf posted zis before, ze Poles do luff a laff about ze Hitler thingy.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53Q1y5EAN4E
    ..
    A rational army would run away.
    Montesquieu

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Dumb tourists

    Quote Originally Posted by Rising Sun* View Post
    Vell, und I haf posted zis before, ze Poles do luff a laff about ze Hitler thingy.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53Q1y5EAN4E
    Zees guys haff balls!
    ...but the Poles are taking it easy these days:

    "I just ran out of ammo. I will ram this one. Good bye, we'll meet in Valhalla." - Major Heinrich Ehrler, April 4, 1945

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Dumb tourists

    Quote Originally Posted by flamethrowerguy View Post
    Zees guys haff balls!
    ...but the Poles are taking it easy these days:

    Bearing in mind that I'm down at the bottom of the planet where Euro stuff affects us only when we decide to send an expeditionary force upwards to correct European misconduct, and where we don't pay a lot of attention to Euro thingies which don't invovle porn videos of the Gaul's boss's missus, would I be correct in thinking that the brownshirt in the picture is Angela Merkel?

    If so, she's in the shit with most lesbians who can grow a mo across all of their top lip, and their bottom lip, and on their teeth.
    ..
    A rational army would run away.
    Montesquieu

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Dumb tourists

    Quote Originally Posted by Rising Sun* View Post
    Bearing in mind that I'm down at the bottom of the planet where Euro stuff affects us only when we decide to send an expeditionary force upwards to correct European misconduct, and where we don't pay a lot of attention to Euro thingies which don't invovle porn videos of the Gaul's boss's missus, would I be correct in thinking that the brownshirt in the picture is Angela Merkel?

    If so, she's in the shit with most lesbians who can grow a mo across all of their top lip, and their bottom lip, and on their teeth.
    Aye, it's her. Beside the mustache she has other preferences as well - if you fancy the autumn of female life. However once again she won't impress any lesbians with those...

    "I just ran out of ammo. I will ram this one. Good bye, we'll meet in Valhalla." - Major Heinrich Ehrler, April 4, 1945

  15. #15
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    Default Re: Dumb tourists

    Aaaaaargh

    Can't... Un-... See...

    If you'll excuse me, I'll be outside gouging my eyes out...
    The fundamental problem of Democracy is that the majority of voters are idiots fueled by uninformed rage - and the Politicians do everything to cater to them.

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