Türk porno yayini yapan http://www.smfairview.com ve http://www.idoproxy.com adli siteler rokettube videolarini da HD kalitede yayinlayacagini acikladi. Ayrica porno indir ozelligiyle de http://www.mysticinca.com adli porno sitesi devreye girdi.
Page 1 of 10 12345678910 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 144

Thread: official joke section

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Vancouver
    Posts
    1,607

    Default official joke section

    post any jokes you know in here please:
    A british want to express his support to tony blair, he decide to kiss at tonly blair's picture non-stop for eight hours at 200 times per minute.
    If you are a P-51D pilot, you are going down soon
    The Axis Project



    Great game: www.cybernations.net

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    341

    Default Re: official joke section

    Quote Originally Posted by FW-190 Pilot
    A british want to express his support to tony blair, he decide to kiss at tonly blair's picture non-stop for eight hours at 200 times per minute.
    Huh? :? :?

  3. #3
    Bluffcove Guest

    Default

    If we had wanted to show our respect to tony blair we would skiff him. This kissing of photos malarkey is far too "old skool"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    1,763

    Default Re: official joke section

    Quote Originally Posted by Tubbyboy
    Quote Originally Posted by FW-190 Pilot
    A british want to express his support to tony blair, he decide to kiss at tonly blair's picture non-stop for eight hours at 200 times per minute.
    Huh? :? :?
    Nope, got me beat too.

    I think it's lost something in the translation...

  5. #5
    Bluffcove Guest

    Default

    That was the problem with winning the war! none of us speak German and an entire nation of comedians has been wasted. Oh well what a compromise. :?

  6. #6

    Default Re: official joke section

    Quote Originally Posted by FW-190 Pilot
    post any jokes you know in here please:
    A british want to express his support to tony blair, he decide to kiss at tonly blair's picture non-stop for eight hours at 200 times per minute.
    Not exactly funny, just stupid. :?

  7. #7

    Default

    The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me."

    So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."

    Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?"

    "Yes, sir," answered the Sarge.

    A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful."

    So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"


  8. #8

    Default

    Some Military Jokes:

    The story of Uncle Bob

    The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

    Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess"

    "And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

    "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

    "Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?"

    "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they're hatched."

    "That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?"

    "Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a Green Beret in Vietnam and his helicopter got hit. He had to crash land in enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands."

    "Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, " What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

    "Don't f*ck with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."

    On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field
    and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

    One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
    The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
    The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
    The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.
    If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.
    If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
    If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
    If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand
    is on the 3.
    If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120
    minutes to "Happy Hour."

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Vancouver
    Posts
    1,607

    Default

    So you thought that cops had no sense of humor--- The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the US

    1. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

    2. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

    3. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    4. "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

    5. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

    6. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do That again or I'll give you another ticket."

    7. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    8. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

    9. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

    10. "Just how big were those two beers?"

    11. "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

    12. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

    13. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't... Sign here
    If you are a P-51D pilot, you are going down soon
    The Axis Project



    Great game: www.cybernations.net

  10. #10

    Default

    One of my fav. jokes

    "Three men lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to enter the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So, all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
    The first one came back and said to the king, “I brought ten apples.” The king then explained, “Next, you have to shove the fruits up your butt without so much as an expression on your face, or you’ll be eaten.” The first apple went in, but on the second he winced in pain, and was killed.

    The second one arrived, and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy.

    1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter, and was killed.

    The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, “Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!”

    The second one replied, “I couldn’t help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples.”

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Russia, St. Petersburg
    Posts
    205

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by South African Military
    One of my fav. jokes

    "Three men lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to enter the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So, all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
    The first one came back and said to the king, “I brought ten apples.” The king then explained, “Next, you have to shove the fruits up your butt without so much as an expression on your face, or you’ll be eaten.” The first apple went in, but on the second he winced in pain, and was killed.

    The second one arrived, and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy.

    1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter, and was killed.

    The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, “Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!”

    The second one replied, “I couldn’t help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples.”
    I like it
    Okay, later i'll try translate in english my favorite joke.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: official joke section

    Quote Originally Posted by South African Military
    Quote Originally Posted by FW-190 Pilot
    post any jokes you know in here please:
    A british want to express his support to tony blair, he decide to kiss at tonly blair's picture non-stop for eight hours at 200 times per minute.
    Not exactly funny, just stupid. :?
    Just goes to show- THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A GERMAN COMEDIAN

    Most famous German joke ever- Take my wife, I command you!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Russia, St. Petersburg
    Posts
    205

    Default

    Night. Barracs.
    One soldier, who sleeps at upper bed (do you know those two-level army beds ?) start screaming in asleep: Oh, holy crow, turn your finger, turn ! Turn it, bastard, oh, no, no, TUUUUURRRRNN !!! then fall down from he's upper bed to barrak's floor...
    He's nighbor from lower bed awaked by noise and asked that falled soldier -
    -What's up, man ? Got nightmare ?"
    - Oh, bro, terrific nightmare, never hawe seen such terrible dream... In dream i found myself as a tourist in damned montains, looks like somewhere in The Himalayas, all things doing good, i just walk around and make a shot with my camera.
    But i saw some cavern and immidiately from this cavern went out big ugly hairish Yety... that damned Big Fott...looks like big brother of our drill-sergent, ditto ugly but more hairish.
    I just can't ran, so that Yety grab me up in one hand and by other hand stripped out my trousers. Afterward that ugly creature stick in to my *** he's finger and hang me up on this finger over fathomless pit... and after time i can feel - i starting slide off...

  14. #14

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Preatorian
    Night. Barracs.
    One soldier, who sleeps at upper bed (do you know those two-level army beds ?) start screaming in asleep: Oh, holy crow, turn your finger, turn ! Turn it, bastard, oh, no, no, TUUUUURRRRNN !!! then fall down from he's upper bed to barrak's floor...
    He's nighbor from lower bed awaked by noise and asked that falled soldier -
    -What's up, man ? Got nightmare ?"
    - Oh, bro, terrific nightmare, never hawe seen such terrible dream... In dream i found myself as a tourist in damned montains, looks like somewhere in The Himalayas, all things doing good, i just walk around and make a shot with my camera.
    But i saw some cavern and immidiately from this cavern went out big ugly hairish Yety... that damned Big Fott...looks like big brother of our drill-sergent, ditto ugly but more hairish.
    I just can't ran, so that Yety grab me up in one hand and by other hand stripped out my trousers. Afterward that ugly creature stick in to my *** he's finger and hang me up on this finger over fathomless pit... and after time i can feel - i starting slide off...
    ....... haha

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Vancouver
    Posts
    1,607

    Default

    lol
    If you are a P-51D pilot, you are going down soon
    The Axis Project



    Great game: www.cybernations.net

Page 1 of 10 12345678910 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Joke... anyone?
    By The Master of Puppets in forum 2006 Archive Room
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 04-06-2006, 05:17 PM
  2. World's Biggest April Fools Day Joke???
    By vcs-ww2 in forum 2006 Archive Room
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 04-03-2006, 04:23 PM
  3. Walther War Machines big book of Soldier Knowledge
    By Bluffcove in forum 2005 Archive Room
    Replies: 465
    Last Post: 10-19-2005, 08:55 PM

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •