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Thread: Merry Xmas to all

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Default Merry Xmas to all

    Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year (Happy Holiday for Americans) to all.

    And in the spirit of the season, here's my kind of Santa.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Dear Santa,



    How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for

    Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.



    Merry Christmas,



    Timmy Jones



    * *







    Dear Timmy,



    Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.



    Merry Christmas,



    Santa Claus







    * *



    Mr. Claus,



    Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. Nice" contract,set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?



    Respectfully,



    Tim Jones



    * *

    Mr. Jones,



    While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria,need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however,that my attorney's have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve

    your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.



    Very Truly Yours,



    S Claus



    * *







    Now look here Fat Man, I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat *** and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!



    T-Bone



    * *



    Listen Pizza Face,



    Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you're *** and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.



    S Clizzy



    * *



    Dear Santa,



    Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.

    Timmy.



    That's what I thought, you little bastard. Santa
    ..
    A rational army would run away.
    Montesquieu

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Merry Xmas to all

    Excellent!
    "I just ran out of ammo. I will ram this one. Good bye, we'll meet in Valhalla." - Major Heinrich Ehrler, April 4, 1945

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Merry Xmas to all

    As this is a history forum, this is the appropriate time to explain the history of the angel on top of the Xmas tree.



    When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

    Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

    When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

    Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

    Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.

    In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

    Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

    The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to put it?'


    And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
    ..
    A rational army would run away.
    Montesquieu

  4. #4
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  5. #5
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    Default Re: Merry Xmas to all

    Hope you were all very good, my friends here will be along shortly.. Have the very Merriest Christmas, all of you !!
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

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    Last edited by tankgeezer; 12-24-2013 at 11:01 PM.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Merry Xmas to all

    Merry Christmas to everybody!
    "The consciousness that I am alive, makes me wild dreams every day"
    (Helmut Wolff lieutenant colonel, one who survived the breakout of Budapest)

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Merry Xmas to all

    [B]Merry Christmas everybody, and have a healthy and happy New Year!
    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	image092.jpg 
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ID:	6896[/BSeventy years ago, "loaded mule with cans of hot turkey." Demanio, Italy. 25 December 1943. Photo by Bell, 163rd Signal Photo Company. SC 354531, Credit NARA]

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Merry Xmas to all

    I just found a really good video of The Bulge - Christmas 1944. One of the best I've seen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DbGCuGVdRI

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Merry Xmas to all

    A Happy Christmas Morning to all, and a fine Tune in keeping with a fine day. http://youtu.be/nUKqB5lOAW4

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Merry Xmas to all

    Very lively song tankgeezeer, thanks for sharing!

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Merry Xmas to all

    You're welcome, its one of my favorites.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Merry Xmas to all

    A little late to the party, hope everyone had a great Christmas!
    "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same." - Ronald Reagan

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