View Full Version : International Threat levels

02-13-2010, 08:14 PM
This primer may be helpful in understanding how various Nations view, and classify threat levels. You may wish to copy it for future reference..

The English are feeling the pinch in

> relation to recent terrorist

> threats and have raised their security level from

> "Miffed" to "Peeved."

> Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to

> "Irritated" or

> even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been

> "A Bit Cross" since the

> blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists

> have been

> re-categorised from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody

> Nuisance." The last time the

> British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level

> was during the great

> fire of 1666.



> The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed

> Off" to "Let's get the

> Bastards" They don't have any other levels. This

> is the reason they have

> been used on the frontline in the British army for the last

> 300 years.



> The French government announced yesterday that it has

> raised its

> terror

> alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The

> only two higher levels in France

> are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The

> rise was precipitated by a recent

> fire that destroyed France ís white flag factory,

> effectively paralysing

> the country's military capability. It's not only

> the French who are on a

> heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert

> level from

> "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate

> Military Posturing." Two more

> levels remain": Ineffective Combat Operations"

> and "Change Sides."



> The Germans also increased their alert stat e from

> "Disdainful

> Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching

> Songs." They also have

> two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and

> "Lose".



> Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual,

> and the only

> threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of

> Brussels .



> The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines

> ready to

> deploy.

> These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the

> new Spanish

> navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.



> Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes,

> on all of

> their allies, just in case.



> New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from

> "baaa" to

> "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defense cutbacks, New

> Zealand only has one

> more level of escalation, which is "Grab your sheep

> and kiss her

> goodbye". In the event of invasion, New Zealanders

> will be asked to

> gather together in a strategic defensive position called

> "Bondi".



> Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from

> "No worries"

> to "She'll be all right, mate". Three more

> escalation levels remain,

> "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel

> the barbie this weekend" and

> "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation

> has ever warranted use of

> the final escalation

> level.

02-14-2010, 12:12 AM
That's a good one, however...it sounds familiar. Didn't RS* post this in another thread some time ago?

02-14-2010, 12:40 AM
I just looked, and indeed he did.Humble apologies. I dont seem to be able to delete the post, so if you wish to, feel free.